Call your friends, hang out with them, and talk to them about anything but your dreamy obsession guy. If it is someone you do not actually have to stay in touch with, separate yourself in every way you can. Related: What Is Forgiveness and Why Is It Important? It also is reinforcing the notion that if you are having negative thoughts, about self or others, it doesn’t typically make you feel good, so finding a way to release the anger- or whatever emotion they have towards the other person is a good place to start so they’re not obsessing and driving themselves crazy. Letting the negative thoughts pass through your mind like a wave is the best method for avoiding them. You can also delete their contact information from your phone if you are sure you won’t ever really need it. So accept that and move on. That’s the best answer on ‘How to stop obsessing over someone?’—simply don’t try. The work you do on yourself and the new relationships you build or the existing ones that you cultivate have the potential to put you in a much better place than you ever were. Sometimes the person we lie to the most is the one staring right back at us in the... 2. We can not create a positive future if we are holding onto emotions of the past. 1. of 3: It’s time to move forward, move on, and focus on what you can control, what is good in your life and where you are going. So the best thing to do is deactivate your social media accounts for a while or simply unfriend him. of 3: Give yourself permission to dislike a person and want to avoid them. Stop for a second and try to look at the whole picture. If you have friends you truly trust, you can ask them to remind you not to talk about this person when you slip and bring that person up. So, how do you stop thinking about someone that you have such strong emotions about? What Is Forgiveness and Why Is It Important? If it was someone you really cared about who hurt you, the reality is that every second you spend thinking about them is giving more of your time and giving them power over you. The fewer triggers that remind you of this person, the less you will be tempted. Don’t hold back at all. Slowly reduce the amount of time you dedicate to that person every day. I'm not gonna lie to you: Getting over someone who cheated on you may not be easy, but it is necessary. Mr. Bad Guy, on the other hand, is on your mind 24/7. Create a phrase that you can say to yourself in those moments: something that’s both a validation of your feelings and a reassurance that you can shift your focus. If you have learned something more about yourself or your needs, invest your time in relationships that meet those needs (whether platonic or intimate). Just accept that this is not one of your connections and let them go. Keeping Your Mind Occupied. Something you want to do but it may be a bit out of your comfort zone. Obsessing about a person you hate does nothing to them, it only harms you. Also, one of the most vital ways to stop obsessing is by having a personal opinion. Distract yourself. That’s why we need to take a step back and be realistic. . Maybe every past relationship was with an unworthy toxic man and our dream guy is just like a breath of fresh air. Panic sinks in and you have a hard time playing it cool. Please stop obsessing about affair partners. From that other person’s perspective, how would they feel about the behaviors of my client? However, it’s worth remembering that everybody is doing the best they can in a given moment with the resources they have available to them right them. And the truth will have set you free. Even better, he is interested in a relationship with you. While mindfulness tools, can help, they don’t always cure obsessive negative thoughts. Ask your friends to try to not bring that person up when they talk to you. The guiding principle to use when trying to stop obsessing about people you hate can be simplified in this famous quote: “The truth will set you free. When it’s the weekend, go out. That’s one of the most helpful steps, otherwise we are just falling deeper by stalking their social media accounts. There are better things to do, so move your butt from that couch and go. That is one of the most effective ways to stop being obsessed. Get to the cause of it.. It’s never about the other person, it’s always about you. Dealing with Your Emotions. Whenever you begin to obsess, transplant a different thought or action into your schedule. If your obsession over someone is causing havoc in your life, here are some tried-and-true ways to stop the unhealthy attraction. Keep your distance. It’s true that someone may have done the unspeakable to you; they may have hurt you, ruined you, destroyed you, damaged you or betrayed you beyond what feels is repairable. Here are a few pieces you may find helpful in your own recovery. Dream Life Clarity Coach | Clinical Psychologist | Motivational Speaker. When people have negative thoughts towards someone, it can be very difficult to manage them. In any case, change is the best medicine. In order to move forward, you have to make peace that those people are no longer your problem. Maybe they had an awful day or, heck, a series of awful days and they are so caught up in their lives that they cannot see how they are causing you grief. But I want you to know that you are losing precious time thinking about someone who is not wasting a minute of their thoughts on you. But I like to think about the people who have hurt me as nothing but the Kings and Queens of an Empire of Dirt. In this video, you will better understand how to stop obsessing over someone. Method 2 The whole world is out there. By Karin Cho Updated May 19, 2019. I know they suck. The only problem is that you just aren't that into him. If you've spent enough time grieving over a relationship that was toxic or just didn't work out and you're ready to move forward, you can shut the window to the past and open the door to a better future. Over time, you will find that this person no longer has a hold on your thoughts, your heart, or your action. 7 Ways to Stop Obsessing 1. However, you also don’t need to be waiting by the phone for his highness to decide to reach out to you when he’s ready. With a wave of a strong wind, a flood or a new era, that dirt-filled “empire” is gone. Tell him you are busy with work, studies or with anything you can think of and you just don’t have time for texting. The process of writing can really help you let go of the anger and frustration as you are transferring it on paper. Here some advice , don't hate someone because your friend, loved one, family member doesn't like them( though don't associate or force a relationship with the person they hate.) It’s making us crazy because we have him on our screen but don’t have him in our life. Obsessing about the wrong they have caused you will only give them more power over you and allow them to cause you more pain. You are simply infatuated with him so you created this picture in your head that has no connection to the real him. When we find ourselves getting caught up in obsessing around about someone else, it’s usually a sign that we’ve lost some sense of ourselves along the way. There must be some reason that made us go into this state of obsession. Betrayal, revenge, and vindictiveness can, unfortunately, occupy too much of our time and energy. Before you shake your head and say this is not going to work, I ask you to please give it a go. Work on yourself for yourself. Her life’s mission is to help women find true love. Find Closure. How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone. If you have taken steps to stop obsessing over someone and are seeing the effects, you must thank the spirits and the gods alike for the progress you’ve made. Your spouse invited them into your life. This is a very challenging option if your hatred is strong. Concentrate on them. And time well spent with friends is the best therapy for you. Have you ever received a drawing from a child or a love letter from your admirer? How do you stop it? Negative obsessive thoughts can be toxic, especially when they are about someone you hate. I’m not denying that the impulse to stay in negative energy (especially when it’s related to someone you likely once cared for) isn’t strong and hard to overcome, but the decision to keep this person in your thoughts and have it impact your life is completely and 1000% your own. Being mad, angry and resentful is catabolic energy, essentially meaning it’s negative, it weighs you down, and it’s destructive in nature. Maybe we had too many bad breaks in our life. So whilst you’ve spent hours stewing over how awful they are and prolonging these negative feelings, they are merrily going about their day in total ignorance. If you find that you’ve been engaging in an all-or-nothing thought or a generalization, consider what a more balanced thought might be. If it is someone you work with or someone you jointly parent with, keep all communications to the bare minimum of what is required, and no more. When you hate someone it is like putting poison in the emotional body. Here I listed 11 tips which are very helpful to get rid of obsession. 10. There are no results for the term you are looking for. Don’t try to stop thinking about him. How to Stop Overthinking Everything (According to 15+ Therapists), How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (And What to Do Instead), How to Stop Being a Narcissist, According to 11 Experts, How to Start Over in Life and Reinvent Yourself. You see the problem. Controlling Obsessive Thoughts. Start a New Hobby It’s a good time to get into a new hobby when you find yourself obsessing over a new crush, suggests Sky Sommerfled, owner of StripN’Fitness LLC. You know you are obsessing in vain and it’s not making you happy but you just don’t know how to stop obsessing over someone. You concoct all sorts of ideas about why the other person isn’t texting you back. 7 Things To Remember When You’re Obsessing Over Someone Who Isn’t Obsessed With You By Karin Cho Updated May 19, 2019. This is no way to live, in fact, we can waste years of our life thinking over the “should-a, would-a could-a’s” in our life. But in the Pantheon of Suck? Even if you have to forgive every day. Nobody knew her well so I threw her a baby shower and spent about $50 of my own money to make it nice. But if you don’t know where to start, here are some bulletproof ways to get your obsession out of your system: Sometimes the person we lie to the most is the one staring right back at us in the mirror. Then brainstorm solutions with your friend, or on your own in a journal. It is likely a traumatic memory, not an obsession. Not creative, I know, but you don’t... 3. When you are not spending time near them constantly, it’s easier to get them out of your mind. You are worth it! So, how do you work on changing this habit? I know that sounds like we are in a sort of a rehab but that’s just it, the person we are obsessing over is our drug of choice and the sooner we realize that we have a problem, the sooner we’ll be able to move on. You will come back. Johnny Cash may have mentioned his own “empire of dirt” in his song, Hurt. For you to stop being obsessed, you may need to start to note the person’s flaws. Instead of going around the hamster wheel with obsessive thoughts, notice when and where they come into your head, Alternately, you can practice forgiveness, If you are still in contact with the person you are obsessing about, minimize the contact as much as possible, Make an effort not to talk about this person with others, Defriend/disconnect from them on social media, Finding out the reason could play a key role in letting go of your obsession, After you have figured out the reason for your hate, use your lessons to let go of the emotion, Make the commitment to yourself to move forward from this, Find an outlet that you can use to release the energy, Focus on what makes you happy and pursue more of that, Writing a spiteful letter to that person and putting down exactly what you think of them can help, If you find yourself rehashing negative thoughts about the person constantly, tell yourself to stop, It might be easier said than done, but when someone has wronged you letting go is your best path, One way to help people to stop obsessing over someone they hate is to help them cultivate empathy for the person, In order to move forward—beyond the hate—you must accept the truth about the situation. The only person that deserves your undivided attention and obsession is you. You probably don’t have much time for your friends because you are too busy obsessing. Sometimes you don’t see that there is somebody else out there because your obsession is blocking your view. It will be hard at first but it will get easier with time. Attorney | Author | Coach | Podcast Host, The Same 24 Hours | Blogger, Swim Bike Mom. If you’re committed to learning how to get over an obsession, start with the following steps: 1. That’s the hardest part, admitting to ourselves that we have a problem. Identify your obsessive thoughts and behaviors. Every time you see them, your obsession is just growing. If you are struggling to let go, try to focus on the task at hand. Related: How To Stop Liking Someone You Can’t Have: 10 Ways To Success. It’s honestly that simple. Leah Lee is a relationship expert who pours her knowledge into words. Read our guide below to help you stop obsessing over someone today. It’s important to remember that whatever that person did to you is not a reflection of who you are but rather where they are at in their journey. They are there 24/7, never wanting to leave. Slowly reduce the amount of time you dedicate to that person every day. A change of scenery changes perspective so you might realize that things aren’t all that you made them out to be. The bottom line here is that you have to concentrate on yourself. ignore her as you are its the best thing she might be doing it to get attention for herself as well. You will rise. For some folks, there can be a repeating loop of unhelpful and thoughts about a person, especially if we feel like we have been wronged by them. That's the person who betrayed you… You just do ‘you’ for a change. Your cheater is standing on the winner's block holding the suck trophy. Be honest with yourself. Identify the triggers so you can interrupt and redirect your thinking. You realize it’s time to change. Maybe we are just a bit lonely (though that’s the hardest thing to admit) and we created something out of this guy that made him more into a dream than reality. Don’t sit at home and... #7 Keep busy. Not being able to get someone out of your head can be very irritating, especially if it’s someone you hate. If there is none, maybe it’s time to gently forget about them. Instead, you’re totally obsessing about all that could possibly go wrong. He might have a lot of qualities and you can really feel like there’s no one in this world quite like him but that couldn’t be further from the truth. This can be done in a very small ceremony, with or without close friends, that worships the new you you’ve become and the new life you … If you find the emotions stem from your thinking that they have something that you believe is yours or that you deserve, reflect on what you think is missing from your life, possible reasons of why they succeeded and not you and then figure out the proactive steps you can take to ensure your future success. Decide to forgive them, and also forgive yourself for holding negative thoughts about another person. You are not broken. How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone: 10 Bulletproof Ways To Get Him Out Of Your System 1. Regardless of whether you had something more intimate with a person or you are simply crushing on for them for no reason, the pattern is the same; you think about them all the time, wherever you go, whatever you do, they are always somewhere at the back of your mind. 7 Tips On How To Stop Obsessing Over A Guy Who Doesn’t Give A Damn About You, How To Stop Liking Someone You Can’t Have: 10 Ways To Success, 15 Bulletproof Ways To Apologize To Your Boyfriend.